Three Years and One Year

Three Years!
Micah turned three years old this past Tuesday. He seems pretty grown up in so many ways, and though it seems like yesterday that he was born, I can really not picture him as a tiny baby anymore. We had a small party with my parents coming to our house in person and David's parents joining us via Skype. We wanted to make sure that Micah had the same sort of food that we did, so we had an Indian feast. Micah had Paneer Masala (cream, coconut oil, tomato and queso fresco, with garlic and cumin). He ate it so fast--we have not seen him eat like that for several weeks. Then for dessert we had blueberry-lemon cupcakes and ice cream. Micah had his keto cupcake made with crushed macadamia nuts instead of wheat flour, and his frosting was just cream and stevia with some yellow food coloring. He really enjoyed that, but his ice cream not so much. That was not unexpected; he is still wary of white creamy stuff as he has been since the beginning of the diet. Still, we thought that maybe since we were eating the same thing it might spur him on. But it didn't. It was ok, though, because he had eaten plenty of food!

But the best part of the whole day for him was the candles. He had been talking about them for DAYS. We put three in his cupcake and he had them blown out before we even got finished singing "Happy Birthday." I was pretty impressed at his windiness!

Getting ready to blow...

And, they're out!

Taking a closer look.

Happy family.

But now he wants candles in all his food, at every meal (I want CANDLES!). Since we really need him to eat his food, we figured it is a pretty harmless thing to do. So whenever he asks, we stick a candle in his food and he blows it out before eating. I have to say, it works better in some things than others... His desire for this has already started to wane a bit, so we'll see how long that lasts. Pretty cute, though.

Candle in another meal later in the week. This one was too soupy to hold it up, so my hand had to help.

Puffy-cheeked blowing. He was successful again!

He got some great presents from his wonderful grandparents and aunts and uncles. He is one lucky boy! And it was fun to see him really get into them.

Opening Mr. Potato Head with Mama and Grandma and Grandpa Fisher. Grandma and Grandpa Fast are up on the bookshelf (via Skype).

Hmm. What's in here?

Jumbles! If you don't have any, you should get some. They're kind of addictive.

Look at that cute bum inside the new tunnel!

During the heat wave he has enjoyed the back yard splash park (tiny pool and water hose). We put the hose nozzle on "mist" and just let him soak himself.

It's good to drink, too!

Bliss.

Daddy needed to cool down, too.

He also likes to eat outside under the umbrella.

 And snuggle with Daddy.

We had a wonderful vacation with my parents and brother to a B&B in Michigan City, Indiana. We spent one afternoon at the beach, and much of our time enjoying the large yard of the house we stayed at. We played corn hole, sat in hammocks, and generally relaxed.

Micah was able to spend a lot of time without his helmet, both on the beach and in the grass where there was no danger of him hitting his head on something hard if he fell during a seizure. He especially enjoyed all the shoulder rides Uncle Matthew gave him! Daddy and Mama have their limits, but uncles can just go and go.

This is what Micah did when we told him to fly like a bird.

On Sunday morning it rained, so we took some family photos on the porch.

Almost all of us. We missed you, Hannah!

Finally, a smile from Micah.

With Grandma and Grandpa Fisher and Matthew

Micah loves his uncle Matthew.

One Year.
As I mentioned in my post about a month ago, it has been more than one year since Micah has been having seizures. It has been a LONG year. As we celebrated his birthday this week, I was remembering last year's birthday, when he had the highest seizure total for one day up to that point. It was not a good day, though we did have tons of fun with the Kratzer Family! But a year ago I never imagined that we would still be dealing with this situation. A year ago I was hopeful and could imagine the seizures stopping, because we still occasionally had a day here and there with no seizures at all. Now I can hardly remember what life was like pre-seizures. That almost takes my breath away when I think too much about it. And I have realized that it is so much a part of our lives that Micah has seizures even in my dreams--not that I dream about him having seizures, but that it just happened in my dreams, too, because that is what happens for him.

He began a new medicine three weeks ago. After having a seizure spike at the beginning of July, things seemed like they were calming down somewhat again after this new med started. But we seem stuck in a rut right now, for the past two weeks or so. It is extremely frustrating and disheartening. Though he is still on a very low dose, so we have quite a bit of wiggle room for increases. It is just a waiting game. We increase, we wait, we do a blood test to check for side effects, we wait some more. So far he seems to be tolerating it relatively well. No serious side effects. Mild ones that we have noticed are some insomnia (though we're not really sure if this is the meds or just a change) and a decrease in appetite. Hence my joy at his eating a complete meal voluntarily as mentioned above.

This is taking a toll on all of us, but especially on Micah. We so desperately want the seizures to stop because they are holding him back. Before they started, he was on target or ahead of the game in all areas of development. Though we haven't seen any serious regression, the slowing of his development has meant that by now, one year later, he is behind where he "should" be. So we have started him in Speech, Occupational, and Physical therapies (privately, since he didn't qualify for First Steps until he was too old to take advantage of it, and because we have already met our deductible). On Mondays and Fridays Micah and I make the half-hour drive to Goshen for these therapies.

For good or ill, we as parents in this day and age tend to be caught up in our children's development. We want them to succeed. In fact, we want them to be the best, the smartest, the fastest, the most artistic! It is very difficult, then, when my child is not up there at the front of the pack right now. I want him to feel "normal" and we are doing everything we can to help him. But it is still hard. I know from how he was developing before the seizures that he has tons of potential and it is painful to see that not being realized right now. We pray for patience for us as parents as we deal with these anxieties, and also for patience for him, because it is clear that he gets frustrated sometimes at not being able to express himself completely.

Yet we would not trade this for anything. What a joy it is to be the parents of such a sweet boy. The other day when I left, I said, "Micah, I love you!" and he responded, "I love you too, too, too!" Talk about a melting heart...! Happy Birthday, Dear Micah! We love you so very, very much! And as a Passover Seder is ended with the words, "Next year in Jerusalem," so also is our prayer, "Next year, a birthday without seizures!"